The Duolingo owl is coming for me.

I’ve fled my hometown, changed my number and stolen a 2018 Ford Fiesta, but nothing seems to be working. I uninstalled the Duolingo app 5 days ago, but I still get the notifications demanding me to learn Spanish

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Navy seal copypasta but translated to many languages and back to english

How are you, bastard? After the sea, he was involved in a secret attack against Al-Quaeda, more than 300 murders. I am very familiar with guerrilla warfare and I am the best shooter in the entire US military.

I find the act of copulating with a minion incredibly erotic

Dude, I can totally understand where you're coming from. Personally, I find the act of copulating with a minion incredibly erotic—I'd even go as far to say that it's better than fucking yourself in the asshole